Romans 8:28
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose…”
As you can see, I am an infrequent blogger, largely owing to a truly awful season of indescribable suffering. It is 21 months since my first (and last) post, and even now I can’t promise to be a prolific writer. I find it easier to draw my reflections. Often, the words to relate what I am thinking don’t come easily. At least they do, but not necessarily in a beautifully ordered manner. A picture though… and the act of making it can be the most effective narrative – especially for prayer.
That said, I will try to write a few thoughts down. Today, they are shaped into thankfulness. I am grateful to a heavenly Father who has never failed me yet – nor will He. Although I am healing, it isn’t yet complete and although I am steadfast in believing Him to complete it, I know He could choose to leave me with a ‘thorn’. I have been thinking about Jacob and how after he wrestled with the Lord, he was left with a limp. It isn’t without frustration that I am learning how to live life at a different pace. Some days, I am full of energy and feel completely normal and then there are the days where it is an effort to drag myself out of bed. The biggest difficulty, though, is trying not to worry about what others think. As a creative thinker, I am a bit floaty anyway, but now I am even more so. I’ve always battled with performance – feeling like I have to justify why I do or don’t do stuff. Especially my drawing – I know fellow doodlers and makers will know what I mean. The tagline I’ve written on the blackboard in my kitchen is ‘celebrate progress not perfection’. To find joy in the process and not be too concerned with the end product is truly freeing. Finding this joy is a deliberate act for me. I want to capture the essence of how wonderful God is and how amazing life lived with Him is – to be faithful in practicing and improving this gift. If that means my proportions are off, or if the subject is cheesy or even if I don’t have the energy or inspiration right now – then, that is ok.